The Essential Holiday Buying Guide

(and no the GUTE ain't for sale! That we know of...)

This year when you are pulling your hair out looking for the perfect gift for your loved ones...take a gander at the latest offerings:

1) Star Wars Science - Force Trainer

Have you ever wished you could move an object with the power of your mind?  Now you can, as you control the Jedi Training remote with only your thoughts.  Jedi Master Yoda guides you through 15 levels of Force training as you develop your powers of concentration.  Discover if you have the skills to reach the highest rank of Jedi Master.

Features include:
- 15 Levels of training: Advance from Padawan to Jedi Knight
- Wireless Headset
- Training remote

- Features STAR WARS character voices and sound effects

- Fun and informative learning guide

*Does not include: friends, self respect, ability to see people naked, tax help

2) Adult Footie Pajamas

Want to help others relive their youth? Feel the comfort of all around warmth and love by snapping up these lovely adult sized pjs!

*Does not include: trapdoor













3) Personal Sauna

What a way to relax after a long, hard day at work.
Take your clothes off, grab a towel and relax in this sweat inducing death box.  (Think I can fit this in my apt?  Next to the pilates machine, perhaps?)

*Does not include: trapdoor

4) Ipod Speakers...in the shape of really large ear buds

Wow, that's all I gotta say about this one.

*Does not include: Being cool

5) Gladiator Helmet

This has to be the perfect gift for the man on your list. What guy, human even, wouldn't feel invincible wearing this cast iron helmet straight out of the golden days of the Roman empire.

* Does not include: Russell Crowe (he wouldn't really fit anywhere anyway)

6) Lamp/Wolf Plate Combo

Call Sotheby's, Christie's or maybe just your neighbor who's addicted to eBay...this masterpeice is not easy to find. I repeat, this is an exclusive masterpeice that rivals any and all luxury.

*Does not include: protection from old lady who tried to outbid you on eBay (see Gladiator Helmet)