Ode to 206 *sniff*

After spending the last 10 years in apartment 206 I feel I must pay tribute and say Goodbye to a dear friend!

The year is 2000...the decor is decidedly IKEA on the cheap:

*Bonus Where's Waldo question, can you spot the THREE boxes of tissues?

As the years went on I hosted many a "sleepover at Aunt Kate's" house with the little tykes that are now so grown up!

 

Movies on the big screen....my wall.

So the place is a little dated....

To go along with outdated apt...a REALLY old microwave from Larry:

The first time I used my new microwave to make popcorn (thanks Sara & Don!)
(Needless to say it was a bit more powerful than the 1970's one I had)

Look who got rid of the IKEA couch and chair?

Lucia makes the best out of the outdated kitchen:

                                     Rachel & Mehren (in front of the infamous TV cabinet)


Um I needed to include this pic for the background...

Tribute to Mandy...she spent many a night on my couch...she was as much a part of 206 as I was...

All in all 206 was very good to me! I shall miss you dear old apartment!

Top Ten Reasons Kate is "OK" with turning 35

- Finally feels "mature" (don't read the rest of this blog)

- Still the baby of the family while others enter their 40's (suck it!)

- Already has a tea cabinet full of old lady stuff.

- Feels good that Angelina Jolie is also 35...wait ... that doesn't make me feel good.

- Finally owns her own "home"

- You gotta get older, right?

-  Her toes still feel 25.

- 30's are the new 20's (oh what BS is that?)

- All her friends will/have turned 35 too...

And the number one reason Kate is OK with turning 35:

- She holds out hope she still might grow a couple more inches.

The Essential Holiday Buying Guide 2010

Need the perfect gift for your special person in your life? There are some great choices this year!

1) What's a girl need to get through the year? Why it's the Hot Guys with Baby Animals calendar! Perfect for the gal (or guy) in your life.

Features include:
- Well this one is kind of self explanatory

*Does not include: Hot Girls with Baby Animals, sorry.

 2) Have an annoying boss or co-worker? You need the BULLSH*T button!

Features include:
- Instant smug gratification
- Shocked silence
*Does not include: Bullsh*t! in different languages...although we're working on it. We're getting really close to securing French.

3) Pooping Santa

Features include:
- Multicolored edible poop (never thought I'd ever write that)
- This Santa poops on command, can you say that of your dog or cat?
- Shocked silence
*Does not include: Reindeer...although we're working on it. That Rudolph is a self entitled jerk!



4) Hug Me Pillow

Features include:
- A disembodied arm to hold you tight
- Arm PJs made of flannel for extra warmth
*Does not include: Unfortunately arm does not do the dishes, take out trash, or change light bulbs but can be used to kill bugs.

More to come!

Everybody Poops

As the promise of condo ownership looms I have some important decisions to make concerning the renovation of the bathroom. After 10 years with an original 1970's pink toilet, I'm ready for a change.

How does one choose a toilet?
Forget it I'm not really interested, what I really want to show you is the crazy ass toilets I found...

Finding Nemo
This toilet really accomplishes two things...the obvious and well a place to put your pets.
I wonder if when you jiggle the handle it feeds the fish?
I really feel like this might be the ninth circle of Hell for your goldfish.

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
I could blow my whole bathroom budget on this beauty!
"Hey JayZ called, he wants his crapper back"
I wonder if my health plan covers "scratches inflicted by your diamond encrusted toilet."

The Stalker
This is one creepy toilet but I wonder if the eyes glow in the dark.

P.S. I don't recommend googling "crazy toilets" just my advice.

Top 10 Reasons I might be an 80 year old woman...and One reason I'm not (yet)

While cleaning out my apt I've had for 10 years I've come across some real gems that make me question the reality of saying, "I have an old lady living inside me"

Witness the Top Ten:

1. Water Goblets from the Crusade

2. Every woman in her 30's has a crystal decanter, right??

(*Sigh* I miss Talbot from TB)


















3. Nice! I'm gonna break this out the next time I serve gherkins.

4. A cookie jar...with expired medication in it.

5. Oh look TWO tiers for all my medications!

6. Why yes I DO have a Hummel and random teapot knicknacks...

 








7. Old Lamp with light up base...let the romance begin!

8. My art collection includes...

9. As a young lady you can never have too much crystal!

  





10. The crux of my list...the tea cabinet...nuff said

And ONE reason why I may not be an old lady...I have pictures of my "boyfriends" hanging on my door - straight up teenager style!

*Writer's note: though I have all this stuff most I can't part with - some of it is really cool...on another note while cleaning I did find an old purse with hard candies in it.

The Inbox from Hell, Part Deux

Good ole' Hotmail is at it again...

                                                               ...you don't have sex, Kate. Duh.
 

I took this literally - things KATE should not say on a 1st Date...

- "Do you watch Battlestar Galactica?"

- "Last night on *insert TV Show name* the craziest thing happened..."

- "Are you a Republican?" 
(But wait I think I should ask that, don't you? It's only fair.)

- "Man that ice cream made me gassy."

- "I'm fine with Wendy's"

- "I have this tea cabinet..."

- "Want to play Super Scrabble? I have it. It's awesome."

What else?

Top Ten Reasons Cloning should be allowed...

Idris Elba
Check out this yummy Brit in everything from The Office to The Wire to the movies (RocknRolla, Obsessed)...he's got it all.

Joel McHale
We already know this dude is funny (The Soup, Community) but he's also looking mighty fine as well...tall, smart, funny and hot!

Eat your heart out Ryan Seacrest!

Robert Downey, Jr.
If anyone has had nine lives it's Robert.
I've loved him in every movie - even Soapdish!
Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Wonder Boys but most importantly Harry Lockhart in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Ewan McGregor
Haggis eating, kilt wearers and whisky swiggers everywhere have nothing on this Scot - he even sings (swoon).

Michael Fassbender
The first time I ever saw this actor was in Inglorious Basterds. He's so striking - I'm talking about his acting of course ;)

Doesn't hurt that he was in the movie 300 - I might have to watch that again sometime...

Ryan Reynolds
Canada never looked so good...once again smart, funny and hot trumps my ...I'm sorry I totally forgot what I was going to say...damn.

Sam Worthington

Australian. Nuff Said.

Timothy Olyphant

There is something about this dude.  I don't like him enough to see 'the Crazies' but I will check out his new FX series Justified.

Andy Whitfield

Some cheeky bastards call him the "Poor Man's Sam Worthington" but don't be fooled he is completely hot in his own right and follows no man! He is Spartacus!


 
 
 
 

Alexander Skarsgard
To say that I am obsessed with this man is putting it mildy. Not only do I have DAILY Google Alert set up on him but I check all his sites most every day (well every other day, I'm healing).


I don't usually go for blondes but I'll make an exception...


Let me know who you would clone...

If you build it, they will come

My last post cheekily described what I've been doing while snowed in (it's called comedy), but I want to get serious here, on my 7th day of captivity, and go over what I actually DID accomplish in the last several days.

Another pie chart (I'm tech savvy, Yo!):

 

And Hotmail, bless her heart, has been pretty quiet lately, until today:

Yeah this tidbit would have been helpful SEVEN days ago.

Snow, Smow... I need a hobby

So this is I don't know the 5th day of being confined at home due to the Snow-tastic adventure.

I'd like to say that I got tons of stuff done...sure I went through my closet and plucked two bags of clothes (straight off What Not To Wear I'm sure) and managed to do two loads of laundry, but there's so much I could have accomplished if I set my mind to it.

To wit, a pie chart of activities I've been doing:

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery (or maybe I’m not original)

This is my first post of 2010 :)

Funniest phrases, words or things I've learned from reading other people's blogs:

- If someone is annoying, ridiculous, batshit crazy, etc. call them an "oxygen thief"

Example: Palin is now a commentator Fox News, too bad this oxygen thief didn't get her own show.

- When someone is up to no good and their actions effect other people in a negative way, please feel free to refer to the behavior in question as genuine "motherfuckery"

Example: Not one, but multiple flings Tiger? Cheating on your wife is some serious motherfuckery on your part.

- This one is self explanatory (seen on The Bloggess): "douche canoe"

Example: Stop being a douche canoe and pass Healthcare. Or Pat Robertson is a real douche canoe...

Sites that keep me VERY entertained:


http://thebloggess.com/

http://www.fmylife.com/

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

http://www.wonkette.com/

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/popcandy/index

http://failblog.org/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/