New Years Resolutions - Bring It 2010!

This time of the year is for making yourself promises...promises you aren't necessarily going to keep, but that's OK, we love you anyway.

Here are mine for 2010:

Stop getting upset at the DB's of the world...

No Glenn I don't give a crap what you are trying to make everyone so scared of & by the way thanks for upping the price of Gold, well done.

Dick you need to just retire and go away. You had 8 years to frak up the place, so no thanks, no more. This next decade is OURS, not yours.

Sarah P - I hope your next year is spectactular - I just don't need to hear you utter another word, OK?
You betcha.

Keep working out...just try and not have this happen to me.

See a lot more movies, I've been slacking man!


Sigh, try loving the GUTE a little bit less...

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

The Essential Holiday Buying Guide

(and no the GUTE ain't for sale! That we know of...)

This year when you are pulling your hair out looking for the perfect gift for your loved ones...take a gander at the latest offerings:

1) Star Wars Science - Force Trainer

Have you ever wished you could move an object with the power of your mind?  Now you can, as you control the Jedi Training remote with only your thoughts.  Jedi Master Yoda guides you through 15 levels of Force training as you develop your powers of concentration.  Discover if you have the skills to reach the highest rank of Jedi Master.

Features include:
- 15 Levels of training: Advance from Padawan to Jedi Knight
- Wireless Headset
- Training remote

- Features STAR WARS character voices and sound effects

- Fun and informative learning guide

*Does not include: friends, self respect, ability to see people naked, tax help

2) Adult Footie Pajamas

Want to help others relive their youth? Feel the comfort of all around warmth and love by snapping up these lovely adult sized pjs!

*Does not include: trapdoor













3) Personal Sauna

What a way to relax after a long, hard day at work.
Take your clothes off, grab a towel and relax in this sweat inducing death box.  (Think I can fit this in my apt?  Next to the pilates machine, perhaps?)

*Does not include: trapdoor

4) Ipod Speakers...in the shape of really large ear buds

Wow, that's all I gotta say about this one.

*Does not include: Being cool

5) Gladiator Helmet

This has to be the perfect gift for the man on your list. What guy, human even, wouldn't feel invincible wearing this cast iron helmet straight out of the golden days of the Roman empire.

* Does not include: Russell Crowe (he wouldn't really fit anywhere anyway)

6) Lamp/Wolf Plate Combo

Call Sotheby's, Christie's or maybe just your neighbor who's addicted to eBay...this masterpeice is not easy to find. I repeat, this is an exclusive masterpeice that rivals any and all luxury.

*Does not include: protection from old lady who tried to outbid you on eBay (see Gladiator Helmet)

The Inbox from Hell

I get it now.

Sometimes life reveals things you weren't really thinking about but are gently reminded about on a somewhat consistent basis. In my case its my hotmail inbox. You see, it's out to destroy my fragile psyche.

Take this particular day for example... I opened up my e-mail and staring at me is the tagline...

Thanks, thanks a lot Hotmail.

Or perhaps this day...

Yeah you know Hotmail I could use a therapist right now...to deal with you.

This one, thankfully, turned out to be a false alarm...they are referring to buying shoes, not, you know, a man.

But sometimes Hotmail likes to give me hints, like this one below:
(note the irony of the eHarmony line below it)

But in light of my upcoming (gulp) 34th b-day, this recent one really got me...

Now if I can get Hotmail straightened out maybe I can get Amazon to stop treating me like a gay man.