You know it's time to lose weight when...

- You catch yourself humming along to the sound of your thighs rubbing together when you walk.
Reality check: that ain't gonna be a top ten hit.

- You realize the strip of fabric that covers your pants zipper has stretched so far that it looks like your crotch is smiling.
Reality check: that only worked for fighter planes in WWII
 







- You step on your fancy digital scale and you get the binary code for "FAT".
Reality check:  010101001101100110 (that's code for "call Weight Watchers")

- You dislocate your shoulder after trying to remove your form fitting tank top.
Reality check: You are not Mel Gibson from the Lethal Weapon movies. (However you may be Danny Glover as you are "too old for this shit")

- You realize they changed the phrase "junk in the trunk" to "your caboose is on the loose" after watching you walk down the street.
Reality check: Even the makers of Thomas the Tank Engine aren't returning your calls.